


Mustache Rides

by TheWolvenStorm



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Analingus, Blow Jobs, Cunnilingus, F/M, Lots of "You look like a [Blank] jokes, Making Fun of Kit Harington's mustache, Minor Rob/Margaery, Modern AU, Ride Jons Face 2019, Smut, Twenty69Teen, Vaginal Fingering, is this meta?, sixty nine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 10:07:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17640734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWolvenStorm/pseuds/TheWolvenStorm
Summary: Jon's sporting a new look and there's really only one thing Dany can do.A PROUD Contribution to the #RideJonsFace2019 and #Twenty69teen campaigns. Let's have Dany rub that mustache off.





	Mustache Rides

**Author's Note:**

> Hey this is dedicated to AshelyFanFic who just got out of surgery a few days ago. You're a beast my lady and this fandom wouldn't be the same without you. I hope this makes you laugh. But not too hard so it doesn't fuck up your back again. A light chuckle preferably. 
> 
> This lovely moodboard was created by Justwandering-Neverlost. Her and Ashely wrote an awesome bootlegger fic that's coming to a close soon. It's called Legends of Winter's Peak. You should read it, why are you reading this silly story when that exists?
> 
>  

“You look like an Italian grandfather,” Arya shoots. Her face remaining blank and neutral as she waits for his response. He expected this from her. He had prepared for it during the whole ride over here. 

“You look like a mall cop that takes his job too seriously,” Robb adds leaning over the table to examine him closely. 

“Hush, Robb” Margaery scolds her husband. His good-sister training her face into a polite smile. “It’s a bold choice, Jon.” Something mischievous suppressed for his benefit as she sets a cup of coffee down in front of him.

“Thanks, Marge” he answers, but he can see her covering her mouth with the back of her hand as she walks back to the kitchen to continue preparing their weekly family dinner. 

“You look like you’re auditioning for the lead in a Mario Party Porn Parody” He takes a sip of the coffee, ignoring his little sister’s jabs. 

“Jon, what time is Dany coming?” Margaery calls from the kitchen. Her voice ringing out over sizzling meat. “I don’t want her food to be cold.” 

“She should be here soon. Her boss called her into work for a few hours” He scratches at his chin and is a little startled when he doesn’t feel his beard. 

“Oh...Poor thing. I’d hate for her to have to drive late in the snow.” 

“Aye.” 

“Poor thing indeed,“ Arya replies, pulling out her cellphone and snapping a picture of him. “You look like Burt Reynolds fucked a coffee shop.” 

Robb laughs taking a seat. “Did you tell her?” 

“I told her I was getting a trim. Which I did, not that anyone noticed,” he says running his fingers through his shorter hair. Arya snorts, tapping away at her phone. 

Robb clucks his tongue and shakes his head. “Hard to notice the little things when you have a fur slug crawling across your face.” 

“It looks lovely, Jon” Margaery returns, placing a stack of plates in front of Arya. She scrunches her face up at the chore, but a small chime from her phone changes it to a snigger.

“Sansa says you look like someone who says ‘meta’ to make people think you went to college.”

“What?” He raises an eyebrow.

Arya shrugs and starts setting the plates out around the table. “She’s not as clever as she thinks she is.” The phone dings again and she bursts out in a fit of laughter. "Bran says you look like you're about to talk for an hour about bitcoin." 

“Is it just us tonight then?” Margaery asks with a grateful smile as she sits. Robb draping his arm around her shoulders. 

“Yea. Sansa got scheduled to work tonight and Bran needs to study.” Arya’s smiles down at the glowing screen. “Rickon says you look stupid and he wishes he could be here so he could make fun of you to your face.” 

Robb laughs again. A bright loud laugh that sounds eerily like their fathers. “That’s what he gets for going halfway ‘cross the country for school.” Leaning back in the chair and looking down at his hand before shaking his head. Twisting the gold circle around his ring finger. “You’re a brave man, Jon. I wouldn’t dare change a thing without Marge’s permission.”

Margaery scratches his brother’s beard. “You can do whatever you want.” she presses a kiss onto Robb’s cheek. “But I like you like this...” 

“Get a room.” Arya bellows. 

“You’re in my house.” Robb threatens, nuzzling Marge with Eskimo kisses. “This whole place is my room. The couch. The counters. This table. It’s all my room.” 

Arya cocks her head to the side, the wheels in her head clicking as she tries to come up with a clever retort. But before she can, the front door opens and he can’t help but smile. She’s so beautiful. Always, but especially now. The winter air brings out a faint pink glow in her cheeks. 

“I’m sorry I’m so late,” Dany says, unwrapping herself from her scarf and closing the door behind her. 

“You’re just in time,” Margaery answers, moving to help her shrug off her too large white coat. “Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.” 

Dany smiles, giving Marge a hug and turning to the rest of the table. “Good. I was worried. My boss was being an absolute ass and it's so cold out, I thought-” she gasps as her eyes land on him. Bright green-blue orbs going wide and her mouth falling open. 

“Hi Dove,” he greets her, standing up from the table as she stares at him. Shock and confusion painting the soft lines of her face. “How was your day?” wrapping his arms around her waist. 

“Busy,” she answers absently, reaching up to touch him. Her cold fingers brushing his bare cheek in curious exploration. She always forgets her gloves. The result of a childhood spent where even the chilliest days were warm enough.

“Robb. Help me carve the roast, will you?” Margaery pats his brother’s shoulder, not-so-discreetly urging him to the kitchen to give them a moment of privacy. Arya follows behind, though not before drawing a line across her throat with her finger. The universal symbol of You’re Dead. 

“Do you hate it?” he asks, taking Dany’s hands in his. Planting a small kiss on her knuckles. A small apology for surprising her. 

“No” Caution stretching out the lone syllable.“I don’t hate it. I’m just a little shocked. I’ve never seen you without a beard.” She pauses for a moment, carefully choosing her words. “What made you decide to shave?” 

He blows out a lungful of air. Warming her cold hands as best he can

“I had the same hairstyle for so long” he sighs. “Got a new job. A new place.” fiddling with the engagement ring around her finger. The one he’d spent weeks picking out. “A new life. Why not?” he shrugs. “Probably sounds dumb.” 

She gives her head a slow shake. “No, it doesn’t” 

“Does it really look bad?” 

She smiles. Popping up onto her tips toes to peck his lips. “It’ll just take some getting used to.” Smooth skin brushing his as the kiss deepens. Feeling her softness in a way he hasn’t before. A new sensation wrapped up in the most familiar one. 

Dany breaks away at the sound of movement from the kitchen. Giggling and scrunching her face. “It tickles.” 

“Aye. Sorry.” She laughs again and takes his hand, leading him back to the table as Marge and Robb set down platters of food for dinner. 

Arya snaps her fingers as she slides back into her seat. “You look like a silent movie villain that ties people up and leaves them on the train tracks” 

“Alright Arya, we’ve ribbed Jon enough.” Robb scoops a portion onto Margaery’s plate, winking at him. “He has to live with his terrible choices.” 

“One more” Arya counters. “You look like you hang out around college campuses and ask girls if they want mustache rides” 

“This looks wonderful Marge, Thank you,” he says much too loudly. Trying to change the subject with little success. His good sister tossing him a sympathetic look. Biting her lips to suppress a laugh that Robb and Arya don’t bother to. Dany quickly clamps her hands over her mouth, muffling her musical giggle.

Reaching for his hand as she quiets. “Oh, I’m sorry, my love.” Something wicked glinting behind the apology. “She has excellent timing.” 

That wicked look stays in her eyes throughout the evening. In every side-along look over their shared meal, in the way she tugs her bottom lip between her teeth as they do the dishes for Margaery and Robb. In every giggle and glance as Arya soundly destroy them at cards. In the way she rushes him out the door when his brother yawns and hints that they should leave. 

“Ask me.” She demands, stopping short in front of their car door. 

“What?” 

She gathers his scarf in her fist, twisting it to draw him in until he looms over her. Her animated eyebrows wiggling suggestively. “Ask me if I want a ride.” 

Understanding dawns on him. Like a bolt of lightning charging from his brain straight to his groin. He turns back to the house. Confirming that they’re alone before he makes an absolute ass of himself for her amusement. Popping the collar of his coat up and adjusting his cap to cover his eyes. Trying to look like the shady character she wants him to play.

“Hey pretty dove,” he growls, slinking up to trap her between the car door and his body. “How’d you like a mustache ride?” 

“As long as you make it worth my while.” 

He can’t get her home fast enough. Thrilling her by driving faster than he should over the ice. A delighted squeal pealing out of her at each too sharp turn and each drifting skid. Skills learned with years of practice. Streetlights strobing and flickering with his speed. Her fingers teasing up his thigh, closing in on her intended target as they round the last turn to their apartment. 

She makes him chase her. Darting out of the car as fast as she can, nearly slipping on a frozen puddle as she disappears into one of the darkened hallways of the complex. He follows close behind, pinching her arse as they run up the stairs, making her yelp and kick back at him. Crashing her against their door, her lips flustering him making him fumble with their keys. Teeth and tongue finding the bare skin beneath his chin. Her small sucks and nips distracting him from his simple task. 

“Hurry” Dany demands, tugging his ear between her teeth. Clever fingers undoing his belt as he struggles to unlock the door. Catching her when it swings open behind her and she falls back. His fiance snorting and bubbling with laughter as he lifts her over his shoulder, kicking the door closed behind him. 

“What are you going to do to me Jon?” she teases as he hauls her to their bedroom. Trying and failing to hold up his pants and carry her at the same time. Letting them fall in the narrow hallway. “Are you going to tie me up and leave me on the railway tracks?” 

Tossing her on down onto the bed, and jumping after her. Finding her sweet mouth again in their endless struggle to devour one another. The buckles of her fashionable boots scrape against his leg as she draws hers up to lock around his waist. His hands get lost in her sweater, sliding between the layers to find her tits. Her body bowing beneath him as he twists and plays at her nipple. She reaches behind him, pulling his shirt and sweater over his head, fluffing his hair into a mess.

“Oh,” she gasps, freezing her wanton wiggling. Sitting up on one arm and smoothing his hair. Combing it back into place with her fingers. “Your haircut looks good.” Her bright blue-green blinking with an alluring innocence. “Very handsome.” 

A smile splits his face, a bashful sort of pride filling his chest at the compliment. 

It’s a distraction, the leg locked around his waist flipping him beneath her much too easily. Dany hovering over him, that innocent look replaced with a smug smirk. Her bottom lip caught between her teeth her eyes rake over him. 

Leggings slide on their bedding. Her thighs spreading, teasing over the tent in his boxer briefs. Rolling her stomach in a sultry dance. Tormenting him with each inch of milky skin that appears as she slowly peels the too-tight turtleneck over her head. Dusky pink nipples peeking out of her disheveled bra. 

He lunges for them. Bolting upright to bring the stiff peaks to his mouth. Sucking and cupping and laaving while his free hand circles her back to free her of the offending garment. A relieved sigh vibrating in her chest as he deftly unhooks the lacey contraption. A pleasured hum following as he kisses along the red lines where the wires dared mark her perfect skin. Her back arching, stretching back to offer him more. Letting him hold her up as she reaches back. Dropping kisses in the valley of her breasts following the line south to her belly button. 

Her boots hit the floor with heavy thuds and he wraps himself around her, spinning her beneath him. Dany squawking and playfully kicking out at him as he pulls down her leggings. The fabrics twisting and tangling in their effort to remove the few scraps of clothes that keep them apart. That keeps all her skin from all of his. 

Breathless laughter blends with weighted grunts as they wrestle for dominance. She fights him all the way, a broad smile on her face as he struggles to pin down all her limbs. A foot firmly planted against his chest. A hand pushing him back on his shoulder. Teeth snapping up at him when he finally pins her. 

“None of that” he teases, struggling to keep his grip on the goddess beneath him. Her face and chest flushed with a glowing pink. A fine sheen of sweat on her brow. Breasts rising and falling and shaking with laughter as she writhes to escape from his hold. “I’ve got you.” 

A knowing look curls the corners of her mouth. Something innocent splashed with sin “Is that so, Jon Snow.” 

“Aye, Dove.” Bringing her captured left hand to his lips, the ring still sparkling in the dim light. “I trapped you here with me.” 

She hmms for a moment, tilting her head as if pondering some deep thought. And then, quicker than he can react, she has him flipped back beneath her. 

“Oh no, Jon Snow.” capturing his lips in a kiss. “You’re the one whose trapped with me.” crawling up his body, her want smearing up his abdomen. Planting her knees in the space under his arms. Dany looking down her long lithe body at him, fingers caressing the line of his bare jaw. “I believe you promised me something” Inching herself closer. Her lips pouting impatiently. Blooming petals waiting for his kiss. 

“Did I?” licking his lips, mouth gone dry. 

“Yes,” her hand tangling in his hair. “Yes,” she repeats, pulling him up to her center. “Yes,” a third time as his mouth opens and meets her slippery flesh. 

All his senses consumed by her. Dragging his tongue across the whole of her, gathering her want. Tasting all of her in a long swipe. The scent of her cunt hitting his nostrils and surging to his groin. Pungent and powerful. Smoothing his palms over her soft creamy skin, up her thighs and around to fill his hands with her arse. Her fingers clawing into scalp urging him to devour her. 

Finding her nub swollen and needy and so very sensitive. Swirling it around, smothering it with his tongue, sucking it between his lips until she swears. The cheap metal bars of their headboard rattling as she releases his hair and grabs hold. Grinding down onto his face, seeking more from him. Licking up her seam. Licking the crease at the joining of her hip. Biting along her inside of her thigh. The ends of her long platinum hair ghosting over his chest. Signing his name across her vulva.

His tongue splitting her open like an overripe fruit. Juice dripping down his chin, down his jaw. Sweet, sticky and sinful. Latching onto her clit, pulling her pleasure out with sharp sucks. Coaxing her to cum. 

Dany squeaks with small needy noises. Her thighs trembling and twitching. Tremors tightening her core and shaking up her spine as she stiffens in his hold. Flattening his tongue against her, soothing her to release and relax. 

She slumps over him, her weight settling back on his stomach. Dany looking dazed and dreamy as she comes down from her high. Humming with contentment, and smirking as she opens her eyes and looks down at him.

“You look like a cunning linguist.” 

He laughs, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Good one.” 

“I thought so.” she giggles as he flexes his hips under her, cock hard against her rear. Her hand wrapping around it, slowly stroking in time with his movements.

Pretty pink tongue darting out to wet her lips, gracing him with a lingering kiss. Tasting her as she tastes herself. Tangling his fingers in the silky silver strands of hair, holding her there for just a bit longer. Need burns in his palms, an ache that can only be soothed by more of her. 

She gives him what he needs, breaking away, shuffling around over him. Her arse greeting him as she bends to take him in her mouth. Groaning as she brings him into her warm wet haven. Rubbing the round cheeks, squeezing them, feeling her flesh fill the spaces between his fingers. Her tongue tracing around the flare of his head before engulfing him once more. Pulling her dark cleft apart, exposing her secret and forbidden places. Her sigh vibrating through her nose, humming around his cock

Biting back a swear as she scoops his balls up, rolling them in her hand, gently squeezing and churning. Tying a knot of pleasure at the base of his spine with each swirl of her tongue. Her weight holds him down as he bucks beneath her. Her hips buck back, demanding his attention. Demanding he fill her and fuck her until she squeals around his cock.

Cunt blooming in front of him. Red as a rose, dripping with dew. Ready for more. Feeding her his fingers. First two then three. Scissoring and spreading her open. Dragging a teasing lick along her dark crease. Earning a muffled mewl matched by his eager moan. Pointed tongue circling and probing, driven by some animal instinct.

Rewarding his service by swallowing him whole, gagging around the solid length, gushing over his fingers. The tight tunnel of her throat accepting him. Flaring heat through him in a wave ecstasy, leaving him shuddering and shivering. Each stroke sending him higher, making him fight for focus. Hands shaking from her concentrated attention sparking up his spine, twisting and spasming as her fingers rake up his thighs. The subtle sharp of her teeth keeping him on the edge. 

Too soon, much too soon. Cracking her across the arse with the flat of his hand. The spank echoing in his ears. Releasing him with a wet noise and deep gasping breaths as she cries out in surprise. Dany startling stiff as he does it again, her back arching in offering, toes curling beside his head. Her desperate yelps egging him on. The pink flush of his handprint glowing on her creamy skin. 

Dragging her slick up from her swollen slit. Smearing it over her puckered skin, and easing a finger inside. An anguished noise spilling from her lips as another slips in beside the first. His free hand finding its place in her cunt, strumming over that sensitive swell inside her, thumb circling her clit. 

She pays him back in kind, completing a circuit of intensity that feeds feverishly on itself. fist wrapping around the root of his cock in a tight grip. Her saliva easing the delicious friction as she tugs in tandem with her tongue. Determined to suck his soul out through his cock. Sawing over each other, sawing into each other. Devouring and destroying, building and bridging. Drawing tight and tense before shattering each other into a thousand glittering pieces. 

Her body collapsing and contracting around his fingers as she rides out her release. Her lips drawing back and sealing tight around his head as he spills on her tongue. Blinding pulses of pleasure radiating out from his groin and reverberating through him. Falling back into the pillows, empty and sated. 

Dany lets out a heavy groan as he eases out of her, tacky tendrils of her lust webbing his fingers. Her movements are shaky and unsteady as she crawls off of him, landing beside him in a heavy pile of limbs and hair. Yawning and making sweet satisfied sounds as he pulls her into his arms. Creating a cocoon where they are the only two people in the world. 

The ring on her finger glinting in the dim light. Her hand absently scratches at his chest. Following a line from his clavicle to trace along the shell of his ear. Closing his eyes and absorbing the tender touches as she caresses the newly bare skin of his jaw. Her lips following the line her fingers just drew. Soft kisses leaving a trail of bliss in their wake.

“Jon…” 

“Yes, Dove?” Opening his eyes to find her sitting up next to him. Sea-green eyes blown open wide. Her silver tongue wetting her lips.

“You can keep the mustache.” Popping a kiss on his lips as he lays stunned in confusion. Rolling and hopping to her feet. Stretching up with a wide smile on her face, before padding to her vanity and rummaging through one of the bottom drawers. 

“What are you looking for?” 

“My good scissors,” she explains without explaining anything. “Aha!” Taking out a large pair of silver shears and cutting at the air with a shrill metallic noise. Singing a pop song to herself as she turns on her heel towards their bathroom. 

“What are you doing?” Panic racing through him. Something desperate tainting his voice as she shakes out her braids. Her long platinum hair nearly hanging to her waist. 

“I think it's time for a trim.” That awful metallic noise slicing the air ominously. “You know-” She arches her eyebrow at him in the mirror. “-Change things up a bit.” Closing the door behind her, a wicked grin splitting her face as he sits stunned and horrified on their bed.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't remember who came up with the "You look like an Italian Grandfather" one but it wasn't me. I'm fairly certain it was on tumblr, might've been the Jonerys discord. If it was you @me, because you deserve all the credit and you inspired this fic. 
> 
> Also if you like this fic you should tell me your best "You look like [Blank]" joke about Kit's mustache. We'll all have a great time.


End file.
